Self reliance

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Richard wrote out our experience of using the self reliance program through The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I thought I would share  it on my blog. I hope we can pay it forward and help someone by sharing our experience and maybe provide motivation for anyone to try it out. In the past I have done Dave Ramsey‘s financial peace University and really enjoyed it. So I volunteered to help with the self-reliance financial class hoping to gain more insight into budgeting and using our money wisely. What I came to realize even more was the importance of adopting an attitude where money is not mine, it is the Lord’s and I am a steward of the money that I have and I need to spend it in a way that would uplift our family and please my Heavenly Father.
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When the Army moved us to Elgin, OK in July of 2018, we didn’t know what to expect. It was a town of 4,000 with a small ward 30 min away that had recently been a branch. While Elgin was growing and had good things happening in it, the countryside and towns that we drove through to get to church were small and struggling.

A third of the ward was retired Oklahoma farmers and another third was Native American residents of the town of Anadarko. The last third was made up of active duty Army families and those who had recently retired from Fort Sill and stayed in the area.

Because we had visited when we were house hunting, the first Sunday there Bishop Buckner pulled me aside and called me to be Ward clerk. Kristine got a calling teaching in Primary, followed by another calling as Activity Days leader. We found quickly that this was a ward where we were needed and there was plenty of opportunity step up and serve.

When the bishopric learned that the Self Reliance program was coming to our stake, I mentioned that Kristine had take Dave Ramsey’s Financial Freedom course at another church and that we might be willing to host the class at our house. This would be an intense, 2 hour weekly program after church for 12 weeks and she would have additional duties, training and reporting as the facilitator for the program. Kristine volunteered and Bishop Buckner extended the call.

Then our Primary President, had a debilitating stroke and Kristine was called as the Primary President. At first there was no replacement for her in activity days or as primary teacher for a stretch of 3-4 weeks Kristine held 4 callings.

On ward council Sundays, Kristine and I would get the girls ready early and we would all drive 30 min to Anadarko for meetings while the Relief Society President’s husband watched Abby and Renee in the gym. After 5 hours of driving and meetings, we would rush home to clean the house and rearrange the furniture to host the 2 hour meeting.

The class itself was different than any church program or class I’ve been a part of. Each week you have an accountability partner of the same gender who isn’t a member of your family. You agree to keep certain commitments and check in with each other via text during the week. The lessons invite the Spirit and then dive right into a tactical, comprehensive plan for becoming financially self reliant.

It was interesting to learn with couples at different stages of their careers. One lady and her husband were nearing retirement age but between supporting adult children and an unexpected heart surgery that forced him to retire early, they were struggling to pay all of their medical and credit card bills each month. The lessons of budgeting and faith and hope were very real as they fought to make progress on their situation.

As we looked at our finances as a couple and started to budget we realized that some of our planned purchases could wait. Even though the power button on our 7yr old 720p TV is malfunctioning, it overall still works great and we realized we could survive a little longer. A year later it’s still going strong.

The first miracle we experienced was the realization in lesson 10 that we shouldn’t buy the house we were renting. The prior branch president had moved a few years prior to Alaska on orders from the Army and rather than sell they rented it to some ward members. We reached out and rented it with the intent to purchase it and live there for the next 3 years until we got out of the Army. The owner and I had already agreed to sell us the house for what they owed on it, which was $10-20k below market value. This would help him because he wouldn’t have to pay 6% in realtors fees and list it remotely while vacant and pay two house payments.

As we went through the checklist "Does it make more sense for me to buy rather than rent?" we checked less than half the boxes. We felt a still small voice as a couple that it wasn’t the right time for us to buy. This mean we wouldn’t be able to install a fence and realize Kristine’s dream of having a chicken coup. It also meant I would have to disappoint our landlord in Alaska with the news that we weren’t going to purchase like we had agreed. Fortunately he took the news well and allowed us to continue to rent.

The next miracle occurred as we wrapped up the last few lessons of Self Reliance. I got a call from a colleague at work, "Did you see the email about the position in Indianapolis?" For the first time ever the Army was looking for a dentist to do medical recruiting in Indianapolis, where Kristine and I are from and had planned to return to in 2.5yrs when we got out of the Army. In our whole marriage of undergraduate school, grad school and Army commitment we had never lived close to family. The Army doesn’t have an active duty installation in Indiana so we assumed it would be impossible to be a dentist in the Army there.

Within two weeks I got the position and orders were cut for us to move a month later. If we had bought the home in Oklahoma like we originally intended we likely would not have taken the assignment. On the day of our 10 year anniversary we loaded our cars and drove across windy Oklahoma to move home to Indiana right before Christmas.

Since then we have had a steady stream of miracles including an opportunity to partner on a dental practice ownership opportunity and the purchase of a home in a neighborhood with multiple families from our ward and 32 kids in our cul-de-sac. We still don’t have chickens but we’ve made progress on our debt and are working on building up a 6 month emergency fund and saving towards retirement. All of this is two years ahead of our most optimistic timeline. If you had told me any of this 12 months ago I would have laughed and explained all the reasons this was impossible.

I’ve learned that with God nothing is impossible and that He is a Giver of good gifts. He knows our goals and wants to bless us. If we will come unto Him and live these principles of Self Reliance we will be less stressed about finances, our marriages and families will be stronger and we will be more able to bless those around us.

During the last class of the Self Reliance program there’s a time for you to write down the blessings and fruits of the class. Both Kristine and I felt a distinct impression that the opportunity to move to Indiana was a direct blessing of hosting the Self Reliance course in our home. While we’re still not perfect at budgeting we continue to improve and return to the lessons we have learned. No matter your financial or family situation, I invite you to make whatever sacrifices required to take part in the Self Reliance program

Here is a link!
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/pef-self-reliance?lang=eng