I was listening to a podcast today, and was reminded how important it is for us to record our beliefs. And I thought I'd take a few minutes today to record my journey of faith. Everybody has such a unique journey, and even though we may share ours from time to time, there is power in writing it out. I believe there's no harm in sharing my journey of faith in Heavenly Father, and I hope I can have this saved for my children and family to keep.
My parents were raised in different faiths, my father was a Christian Scientist and my mother was a pastor's daughter of the Methodist faith. When they were married, they weren't sure which church to attend. They met a family while stationed in Germany that they admired and became friends with, and were then introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. They talked to the missionaries, read the Book of Mormon, and the doctrine resonated with them. I think my mother was baptized before my father, but I am not entirely sure. I know that eventually they were both baptized, and did not openly share that fact with extended family due to the shock it may cause. When my Grandpa approached the subject to my mother, he had highlighted a Gospel Principles book with his doctrinal disagreements to the faith. My mother simply told him that she had a testimony that the Book of Mormon was true and that was that. He did not try to convince her or talk her out of this faith again. I was one year old when my parents joined the church.
Growing up, my parents weren't always active in the church until I was probably 7,8 or so, when I had to make the decision to be baptized. My father baptized me, and I had a lovely baptism in Fishers, Indiana. I remember I had lots of close friends my age also get baptized, and I remember feeling very pure and worried I would lose that purity so quickly by being impatient with my younger brother.
As a child I loved to take my bean bag out at night and "talk to God", and sing "I am a child of God" and "I am like a star" outside. I distinctly remember being particularly touched by music as a child. I loved testimony meetings at church, and would often empathetically cry along with the speakers. When I was ten years old, my parents decided to get sealed in the temple, especially after I had asked them if we would be together forever. They had to go on their own faith journey to reach a point they were ready to enter the temple. It was a beautiful experience.We went to the St. Louis Missouri temple. I was placed in a different room than my parents with some ladies watching over me and Phil. I asked if we could sing "I love to see the temple" together. So we did! We then were ushered into a room that had two mirrors facing eachother, representing eternity. It felt like a very small room. We all knelt at an alter that was white and round in the middle of the room. We all held hands and a prayer was said. It felt peaceful. Then it was done, we were sealed.
The next few years we regularly attended church, and gradually I learned the scriptures. I read abridged versions of all the scriptures on my own, that had pictures. I was also taught at home using the Living Scripture cartoons. In highschool, I eventually hit a point where I felt overwhelmed. I felt so overwhelmed by the expectations of me to attend seminary every morning before school, to keep what felt like a long list of commandments and rules regarding not drinking coffee, to dress a certain way, to talk a certain way, I felt completely micromanaged. I didn't think it was fair that I suddenly had to follow rules my friends didn't have to, and my own parents when they were my age for that matter. I wanted to date boys and kiss and all that fun stuff, I was truly upset by the boundaries that were drawn for my life. During my freshman year of highschool, I also had a little sister born with heart defects, and my parents were very stressed. I had to decided on my own if I truly was willing to believe in this gospel and if not drinking coffee forever was worth it!
So. I read and studied the Book of Mormon. And it's a long book, I might add, and it's not easy to read. But I did when I was around 15 years old. I got on my knees and I prayed to know if it was true. And I felt complete peace, I felt loved. I felt that was my answer. And over the coming years, I came to realize that "Wickedness never was happiness", (Alma 41 from the book of Mormon) and that became my mantra-- I felt that keeping the commandments and "rules" in our faith were all ways I was being protected and they set me free. Some may roll their eyes at this, or think I was brainwashed, but nobody forced me to do these things. I felt security in doing the little things that would keep me in a state of mind where I could feel peace.
I made mistakes as a youth, and I learned from them. I had great leaders that were willing to listen to me and my struggles. I felt so incredibly supported and learned to take advantage of the atonement. I wanted to be pure to go to the temple. I wanted so badly to get into BYU.
At one point, during my junior year of highschool, I realized that I needed to be more spiritually self reliant. I really enjoyed my yearly summer camps that felt like a refuge to be among youth like myself trying to live a faith-based lifestyle in a world that is increasingly secular. I began to journal and take seminary a bit more seriously. But then senior year, I met Richard. Richard had just been to BYU for a year and a half, and he cold-called me out of the blue! I agreed to go on a date with him. And after that, a friendship blossomed where he showed me his scripture study curriculum from college and began to teach me to study the scriptures and listen to devotionals on our ipods. He inspired me to be a better person.
I then went to BYU-Idaho, and he went on a mission. But we stayed in contact. We were married within the year he returned from his mission, and it's been 10 years ever since.
I have a testimony that Joseph Smith restored the gospel from the past, and that He translated the Book of Mormon. I believe that we have a prophet today and that he holds the priesthood keys of this dispensation. I whole-heartedly believe in the truthfulness of the Bible, both the Old and New Testament, as well as the Book of Mormon. I believe that Jesus Christ is our savior, and that he died for our sins and was resurrected. I believe in a loving Heavenly Father and that we are all his children. And I believe that we will one day be reunited with him in heaven after our time is done on this earth. I know that families can be together forever.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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